Like a Fish out of Water ...

I felt like I couldn't breathe, move, swim. Yet this is how I was feeling in the water. Sure, I've had the occasional "bad" swim before, but I don't think I've ever had such a long dry spell (so to speak). The only way I can describe it is that I felt like I just couldn't make my body work in the water; my mind and my body felt completely disconnected. What started as a weird feeling in the water eventually grew to not being able to complete half a workout. So, I did the only thing I could think of - I talked to someone smarter than me.

This all started a couple of weeks ago after a challenging test set. By the end of it I had done 3000 m in just under an hour with my heart rate average in the 170s the whole time. Meyrick kept track of my times and heart rate and I'm so glad I have that information. With it I concluded (well, I guessed first and then someone smarter than me agreed) that I probably haven't been varying the intensity of my workouts enough. And it isn't because I wasn't told to vary them, I just wasn't giving myself a break (not on purpose!)

OK - I (we) figured out what I did wrong, but how to fix it? Obviously swimming more wasn't going to help so, I got out of the pool and hung up my goggles. At first, I thought 3 days would do it, but then I decided not to put a "deadline" on my return to the water. I decided that when the time was right, I would know. 3 days passed, 4 days, 6 days then today, day 7, I headed for the pool. What a difference! It felt effortless, I could breathe and most importantly I could swim.

It was a tough lesson; straying from my plan felt completely wrong and a couple of days ago I wasn't sure that I would ever get "it" back. In the past I may have tried to push through it, or felt guilty about taking a break. But, I've learned from my mistake and I'm sure it will happen again but now I know I can trust myself to get through it.

You CAN Teach an Old Dog New Tricks!

A couple of weeks ago I was at my pool for an easy morning swim. It was a Saturday, and I don't usually swim until the afternoon on Saturdays but since I was heading out of town for the evening, I decided to go early. I was surprised to see a couple of swimmers I know from West Van Masters there - surprised because they were in the "wrong" place, on the "wrong" day and at the "wrong" time. It turns out they were doing a Starts & Turns clinic in preparation for the BC Masters Provincial Championships.

I started chatting with one of them and the conversation went something like this - Ursula: "So, are you ready for the race at Provincials?" Me: "Huh?" Ursula: "The 4 x 50 relay, you're on a team." Me: "Huh?" Apparently my name had somehow come up as someone who would be going to Provincials and would be on a relay team. Never in my life have I raced in a pool and I had no plans on starting anytime soon. To make matters worse (in my head) it was the SHORTEST and FASTEST distance possible - 50 meters. Sprinting is not my "thing" because I am not particularly fast. I prefer going at a steady pace over a longer distance.

Being the person that I am, I decided I couldn't let 3 other people's hopes and dreams of participating in a relay race at Provincials get crushed (OK, I may be exaggerating a bit) so I agreed to race. Ursula: "The entry fee is the same no matter how many events you do, so you might as well sign up for a couple more." Me (out loud): "Yeah, sure"; Me (in my head): "Not a chance".

As I registered for the meet, I discovered that you HAVE to register for a non-relay event, as relays are done separately and my name was already on the list, but to get registered, I needed to sign up for something. Crap. So I found an event that I might be able to do OK at (400 m) and signed up. Then I looked at the psych sheets. Then I scratched my name from the event. Based on my best guesstimate of my time, I would finish close to the back of the pack.

I suffered through my usual pre-race jitters, nausea and mind-babble - "What if I come dead last? Everyone will be looking at me. What if I look like an idiot? I can't do this. I'm too slow." When I left the house for the meet, I had timed it so that I wouldn't have to be at the pool too long, but the thing with swim meets is that they are ALWAYS behind schedule. So, I arrived about 3 hours early.

Here's the weird part - it was FUN! Nobody cares how fast / slow you are. Nobody thinks you look like an idiot when you're doing exactly the same thing as they are. Nobody is too slow when they're swimming their best. The last finishers usually get the biggest applause. It felt really good to be part of a team; not just the 4 of us who relayed, but part of a bigger team.

I left the meet both proud and annoyed - proud because I did something completely out of my comfort zone and annoyed because I scratched my name from the other event. I scratched out of fear, but doing the relay and watching the meet made me realize that it was a totally irrational fear. It turns out I would have placed not-too-badly in my age group if I had swum in other events.

So ... BC Masters Swimming Provincial Championships MAY be on the list for 2011. Stay tuned ...

Oh, and by the way my team came 2nd in our combined age category. Not bad!

Why I do what I do

If you were to lose everything right now - your home, car, job, savings, clothes, food, EVERYTHING - would you end up on the street tonight? Chances are you would not, and neither would I. And why is that? Why, with no place to live, no clean clothes to wear, no food to eat and no job to go to, would we not end up homeless on the street? Because we all have people in our lives who care about us too much to let that happen.

Most of us have a similar understanding of what poverty means - the lack of sufficient funds to provide basic living needs. Over the past few weeks, I have had several conversations with friends, colleagues and family about homelessness and poverty.These conversations had lead me to wonder if poverty should be only defined by money (or lack thereof)? Based on how I (and probably you) answered the opening question, the answer is obviously "no".

When I decided to become a teacher, it wasn't because I had an overwhelming desire to teach. Don't get me wrong, I had and still have a desire to teach. However, I knew I wanted to do something with kids that goes beyond teaching curriculum. Many of the kids I work with face huge challenges on a daily basis; learning, physical and intellectual disabilities; chronic health impairments; behaviour challenges and adversities at home. On paper (and in a very small nutshell), I am responsible for designing, supervising and assessing the educational program for any student with a special need. While I love these aspects of my job, it is what goes on on top of this that really and truly makes me passionate about it.

For me, the most important thing about what I do everyday is connecting with kids. Sadly, there are many, many kids out there who don't have positive relationships with adults. My heart has been broken many times listening to what some of our youngsters have had to deal with; many literally do not have anyone outside of school who cares about them. In a perfect world, I would be able to fix everything for them, but I know I can't. But that doesn't mean I can't be a positive influence in their life. I could go on and on about the things I (& many many other people) do to be "the person", but that is not the point of this post. I already know what I do and I feel pretty damned good about it.

So what is my point? Think back to the opening question. If it's not just about money, what is it about? It's about having positive relationships. I believe we are facing a serious crisis of relational poverty. Throwing money at the problem won't solve it (although I beg of you to NOT stop giving - it is HUGELY IMPORTANT!) But next time you give money to support less fortunate kids, think about what else you can do. Can you spare some time to become "the person" (or even a person) in a child's life? When a kid has someone who cares enough about them to shoot some hoops, or play a video game or even talk to them, their situation may not be "fixed", but their life will be better. And so will yours.